Unattainable Freedom

    Will I ever be free? Will I ever feel the cold fresh air on my skin again? Will I ever get to experience the silence in my heart again? Will I ever be able to be clean? Will I ever be able to breathe?

I am never going to attain freedom. The flames of Hell burn my feet with every step I take to attempt to get closer to the warmth once more. I am unable to use my eyes to see a path towards the end. They were decommissioned a long time ago. I am unable to use my arms and hands to feel my way towards the freedom I desire. The muscle and joints were removed years ago. All I have left is my feet. However, my feet will too, fail me. The flames of Hell are far too hot for them to handle.

I do not even have the option to give up. I was never given one. I am forced to continue with the journey until my body rots away and becomes nothing but a disgusting mound of flesh for the flies to feast on. My body is exhausted. It is hurting. It is decomposing. And through it, I am forced to endure. I am forced to continue this journey. I see no end, as I have no eyes. I cannot feel the end, as I have no arms. I can barely take a step towards the end as my feet are slowly failing me and falling apart.

My mind has not ceased. It continues and functions as normal as it can. I think, I wonder, I dream. I am able to process the torture that is inflicted upon me. I am able to understand the suffering. I am able to make decisions and think them through. I am conscious of every pang, every burn, every stab of pain that courses through my body. I can speak, but what good can that do if no one can hear me? Using my voice amounts to nothing but the already present pain.

I know I will never attain the freedom I desire. So, why must I be forced to keep going? Why I am forced to keep taking one step at a time, knowing that those flames of Hell will be even hotter at the end? Why must I be forced to be aware of all of this? Why must I be forced to continue a journey I have no desire to continue? I don't have an answer for any of them. I never will.

I know that one day, I will collapse and rot. I look forward to that day. And all I wish for is that when I rot, I will just rot.